The Cat Bringeth and I take it awayeth…

My morning –

Get up have coffee and some fried potato cakes. Look out kitchen window and see Ranch Cat sitting in the grass watching something. Her pose is somewhat relaxed.

Finish my coffee and breakfast and take the dishes to the sink. Ranch Cat is still out in the grass in her relaxed position. Her ears ever alert are listening to the rustle in the grass. She shows no concern.  There must be something out there to grab her attention.

Weather is cold and damp, fire is lit so I sit to read for a bit and finish book #2 of the Odd Thomas series by Dean Koontz. About 40 minutes have passed, and I’m curious. Yep she’s still sitting there. I put another log on the fire and glance back. Ranch Cat is gone. Rut Oh! I run to the garage in hopes of keeping her from bringing her new ‘toy’ inside. It never ceases to amaze me how incredibly nimble and fast I can move when I need to. And yet getting up in the morning I feel like I’m 90 year old. I’m too late. There she is in the middle of the garage playing with her new toy, which is very much alive and feisty.

“Whatcha got there kitty?” Yep I am actually waiting for to stay “Why it’s a mouse, it’s a gift I bring you…”

It’s at this moment I see that the mouse is not remotely injured and he’s a fighter. Stands up on his hind legs and tries to bite her nose. Ranch Cat finds this so amusing, grabs Rocky (yes I named the mouse Rocky because of his spirit) and hugs him close and rolls with him. As cute as all this seems there is the realization that she’s not going to kill it and will soon get bored with it, at which point it will be loose in my garage chewing thru things to make a nice cozy life for himself and future family. Not acceptable.

Ranch Cat is now tossing Rocky in the air, who squeals with joy..no I’m sorry that’s not exactly true, it’s what Ranch Cat thinks he’s doing, but really it’s pure rage. I believe he flipped her off at one point. I am grabbing a big rag with the intention of grabbing the mouse and taking it outside, way outside, and releasing him back to the wild. I have no gumption picking up rodents, snakes, lizards, crickets etc., but I do draw the line at spiders. Those will be furiously screamed at, ran from and have a husband sic’d on them for their destruction.

This is where we must cue the music to Keystone Cops. As I reach for Rocky, Ranch Cat senses something is about to happen and bats him across the room. I go for the mouse, he goes for the motorcycle parked in the garage. Ranch Cat thinks is is GREAT fun and pounces. Rocky makes under the tire and to a perfect position where Ranch Cat can’t reach him. I use a corner of the rag to goose Rocky out from under the tire, he makes a mad dash for anywhere but here and heads to the front of the bike, I jump up from my hands and knees  and scramble to the front, Ranch Cat is there like 2 days before I even got up and scares him back to the rear of the bike. We are in a standoff. I must invoke the power of that is the Whiskas, Ranch Cat’s favorite snack in all the world. Nooo she is resisting the scent of (looks at the bag) salmon chews.  Rocky sees his moment, he makes a bolt for the workbench, oh but Rocky I saw that gleam in your eye and I knew you’d try it. That is why I am standing right in his path. That’s it…just a bit closer. *SCREAMS* Never saw that coming, Rocky makes a bee line for the work bench but decides that going up my pant leg would be even better. I scream again and kick my leg, and seriously I think I literally heard Ranch Cat laughing.

Rocky is now under the work bench. There’s lots of stuff here for him to hide in. I get on my hands and knees looking under the giant tool chest, Ranch Cat wants to see too and gets in front of me. (I’m trying to spit her fur out of my mouth) I see him! He’s up against the wall and working towards the big wall shelves. If he gets behind there it’s over! I grab a stick and poke it in there, scares Rocky the other way, I scramble to the other side hoping he’ll pop out and I can grab him, although at this point I’m not so keen on it. Ranch Cat jumps up on my back for a better vantage point, get off me! Oh no..where’d he go? I don’t see him…I begin to slowly pull things out (and by the way I’d like to mention my husband is just standing there chuckling over all this saying ‘just let him go, she’ll catch him eventually) I don’t see him, but I know he didn’t make it to the wall cabinet. He’s got to be in something. Ranch Cat is having a fit and is now blaming me for letting her mouse escape. I’m actually arguing with her ‘well if you had killed like you’re suppose to we wouldn’t be in this predicament.

It’s when I pull out the shop vac and one of the extension tubes I realize “I got you!!” He was in the tube, and ran out but I was quicker and slammed the tube on top of him, no I didn’t kill him, it was the open end of the tube. Ranch Cat is so happy “oh that was great! Ok now give him to me…seriously I want him back, I promise I’ll eat him this time.” Nope you had your chance. So after all that work which was about 30 minutes of a vigorous work out Rocky was taken way outside and released to live another day.

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