The Dangers of Rest Stops

I now have a fear of rest stops. Not for the reason you may think. Today I was traveling down the I-5 to visit my folks in California.

Here’s what happened. I arrive at the rest stop to stretch my legs and tinkle. I get into the restroom which has 3 stalls. I could see the first stall was clearly occupied, but I wasn’t sure about the other 2 stalls. I lean over to do the ‘foot check.’ Can’t tell…lean a bit further and see that the farthest stall is occupied but no feet in the middle stall. Awesome.

As I open the door, the slow motion kicked it. You know the way time stops when you A) realize you’ve done something you should not have and B) you cannot believe what your eyes are telling you? I experienced both simultaneously. As I opened the door, which was not latched, it FLEW open! But it was promptly stopped by a woman’s head. Who was standing on the toilet seat and squatted over the toilet doing her business. Yep she had both feet firmly planted on the seat of the toilet and skirt hiked up around her waist. The slow motion horror show continues, because as I whacked her in the head it threw her completely off balanced. She falls over to the side and hits the wall. Her her left foot hits the ground, which must have been taboo, thus the reason for standing on the toilet and her right foot is now firmly entrenched in the toilet itself. I am mortified! So I grabbed the door and pulled it shut saying “Oh I am SO sorry”…but this will do no good. What I had not realized was that, as she fell sideways she had grabbed the top of the door to stable herself. As I grabbed it from the side to close it and step away I then pulled her off balanced and she is now in the position of right foot in toilet, left foot on taboo floor and now both hands on the ground in front of her. A nightmare version of Downward Dog.

I quickly left, no one was behind me, I am so grateful. I get to my car and make a quick get away. I knew I could not wait and see her walk out. Making one sad wet squishy footprint. Of course I couldn’t stop at any other rest stops for the rest of way for fear they would be following me. I can only imagine the story she told to those she was traveling with. If you hear on Facebook about a crazy lady who opened the door on a woman doing her business…could you ask her why she was standing on the toilet please?

This is something that may traumatize me for life.

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